See Double You

Why are you so afraid?

What is there that is so terrible that makes you cower so?  Are you absolutely sure beyond a doubt that its not all in your head?  Never underestimate the intoxicating power of delusion.

You do realize that chances are its more afraid of you than you are of it.  That’s why it has you so easily convinced.

Is your attachment so great that the best you can do is to spend your life in fear and negativity, hoping that will help to hold on?  Is that why you complain more than compliment?  Why you reduce instead of reinforce?  Do you need that much attention that you believe acting that way will attract that which you seek?  Why must you hide inside the box instead of stepping outside and exploring the world around you?

Can you be completely honest with yourself and admit that living that way all the time makes you feel better?  Really?

Dylan Thomas said “rage, rage against the dying of the light”…

If you need me, I’ll be over here, embracing it face-to-face with both hands.  I’m not afraid and I’ve got too much to live for.  I can’t waste my entire life afraid of the unknown and seeking a reason to be miserable.  I’d prefer to focus on where I’m at right now in the moment and keep pressing forward in a positive light enjoying the adventure of it all.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not careless, nor have I forgotten to remain mindful of my responsibilities, which means yes, I am going to be a bit more conservative when it comes to decisions that impact the bigger picture.  I do however recognize petty worry when I see it and none of it is worth even a consideration.  My apologies ahead of time then if I tune out when I see that coming…

Don’t be afraid, I’m right here and everything’s going to be alright… reach out… here I am… grab it with both hands and pull it close..its yours…

deep breath

Breathe deep…

Late afternoon storms rip leaves from the trees, wind blows, rain soaks the earth, leaving a green mess with sunshine behind and work to be done…

The morning after shows little change from the evening chaos, yet the moisture in the air gives the early light something to dance across as it peers from behind the tree line, inspiring feelings of new beginnings and fresh starts…

Cruising along at a comfortable speed, its easy to hurry off to appointments and obligations.  Instead, the foot slides off the accelerator, providing pause to pay attention to what is normally a blur of color and light.

Opportunities for solace are all around if the voices would just stop for a second or two.  Within that momentary silence, a smile forms.  A smile based in wisdom, compassion, and love for all things.

deep breath…

The steady sounds of gentle rain was joined last night by the return of the chorus that is the night-time residents of the yard and forest beyond my home.  I’m not sure if it is due to an increased awareness of things around me, but I had been concerned lately as it seemed those frogs and crickets were quieter than in times past.  While some would complain of the noise, it seems that with age I’ve grown to appreciate the rhythmic patterns of sound that live around us, with dead silence becoming an eerie harbinger of something unpleasant.  Is there ever true perfect silence, and if so, does it belong?

As I lay in bed, breathing gently and evenly to relax and drift off into slumber, I considered my day and what I had given and received.  Not necessarily seeking an eye-for-an-eye or material gain, I instead considered how I had contributed to the well-being of those I came into contact with, and how perhaps others had done the same for me.

I believe our society has convinced us that we need to maintain the upper-hand whatever the cost in life, playing a never-ending game of “king of the hill” never to be truly won due to even (or blatantly uneven) teams and an insatiable hunger for victory.  This belief leads us to an endless quest for material wealth, the next big move in life that will hopefully guarantee that brass ring that we’ve been seeking all our lives, and perhaps the security to know that we’re going to be happy forever.  Instead what seems to happen is the brass ring doesn’t quite fit, or the jeweler has decided to make one a bit nicer than the original.  Once again, we return to our quest and our misery, lost in life without that which we desire.  Some call it Hell, some call it Samsara, others even venture to call it human nature.

What if, instead of this repetitive pattern of pleasure-seeking, we remember what we have forgotten.  A loving and supportive family, a home and bed to call our own, a clean glass of fresh water, a beautiful sky, and the sound of a gentle rain and night-time creatures.  All things we cherish, all things many of us have every day, yet take for granted because they are simply there, without necessarily seeking our attention, but always willing to put a smile on our face.  If somehow we could learn to remember these things, while also making a right-effort to contribute towards a positive way of life for all beings, perhaps we would understand we don’t need to obsess over that which we do not have, but instead on what we do.

And then simply smile…

A bird gets hit by a car attempting to cross the street, landing stunned and most likely lifeless to the center line. Its mate lands nearby, unwilling to move for cars whizzing by in both directions, most likely sure to meet the same fate as its companion. Perfect and selfless dedication and love, to the end.

Yet another reminder from life to remain mindful of what matters most in life, to let the remainder soak in, then to let it go. No attachment, no suffering…

I often ponder the concept of reincarnation, and consider a substantial reason for its existence to be for the innocent. Beyond all the children that have perished due to greed, war, famine, and ignorance, consider all living things that have died this way. Isn’t it only fair that these beings be given at least one more chance to live life to the fullest?

You’ve got, got, got no time. Life is what you make it.

deep breath

as i sit here watching life

I wonder why I should long for anything more…

…why this can’t last forever

..then I remember

it can…

i am home

A great night’s sleep, a beautiful, cool summer morning, and the day before a holiday weekend has me and my office-mates actually happy to be at work today…

The rest have a quizzical look of confusion about them still caught up in their own hum-drum mundane lives, worried about crunching numbers, metrics, and deadlines, confused as to why the rest of us are so happy…oblivious to the little things in life that have us on our morning high…

those of us smiling are leaking metta and hopefully enough positive energy to blow through this final work-day of the week and onto a great weekend…maybe those with their own clouds overhead will feel a bit of our sunshine and find a reason to smile too…

feel the warm sun on your skin, breath deep the cool morning air, turn up the music, keep on rockin’ in the free world!

happy friday!

deep breath

the feelings of Friday empower me to turn up the music, drown out the day-to-day, and plow through another work day, just ’cause…

the day destroys the night, night divides the day, try to run, try to hide, break on through to the other side…

I’ll see you there

create a good Friday everyone, with strength, hope, faith, and a smile, may you find yourselves content in peace and happiness..

OK Go blares at an acceptable level in office-land today, reminding me to use my powers for good…be invincible.. (oh, oh, oh)…

…inspiring me to meet my daily challenges head-on, face-to-face with courage and compassion…

…reasons to complain transform into reasons to learn, to grow, to show me to be the better man…

…i’ll put myself in your shoes and be the king of hearts, with love for you all, with perseverance to overcome all..

..stand tall, stand strong, be unwavering in the storm, show them all your blinding light…

deep breath

not having a good day today… eminent full moon?

…depression has returned, feelings of the world against me, on the road to failure…

…should I see a doctor? But i’m a Buddhist, I should be able to tame the monkey myself, without a “professional” and their magic bag of synthetic band-aids for the mind…

…the list doesn’t get any smaller, the peace and relief doesn’t last long…I know this is what life is all about…

…no help, afraid to ask, but when I do, it doesn’t seem to sink in…why bother…

…I want to do more, I look for opportunities, try to create my own…there has to be something…

…remain hopeful, try to smile, remain strong, yet scattered…

Physically I’m back in the office and at the keyboard, though mentally I’m still pool-side with feet up feeling the warm sunshine and listening to the birds express themselves around me. At least my now sun-burned upper body will appreciate the shaded respite of corporate-land.

The boss is back from vacation, carrying with him all the little nuances that my colleague and I did not miss during his absence….

Instead of sticking myself to the typical misery that would be likened to this environment, I instead find myself once again working to use these elements of life to demonstrate that working with, and through it makes me the better man…

It all hurts, but there are many more painful sensations that make this seem like nothing, and there are living things on this planet dealing with much more pain in this present moment. I’m sticking to that outlook as I grimace through the motions….

deep breath