See Double You

A bird gets hit by a car attempting to cross the street, landing stunned and most likely lifeless to the center line. Its mate lands nearby, unwilling to move for cars whizzing by in both directions, most likely sure to meet the same fate as its companion. Perfect and selfless dedication and love, to the end.

Yet another reminder from life to remain mindful of what matters most in life, to let the remainder soak in, then to let it go. No attachment, no suffering…

I often ponder the concept of reincarnation, and consider a substantial reason for its existence to be for the innocent. Beyond all the children that have perished due to greed, war, famine, and ignorance, consider all living things that have died this way. Isn’t it only fair that these beings be given at least one more chance to live life to the fullest?

You’ve got, got, got no time. Life is what you make it.

deep breath

As I stood at the kitchen sink washing up the dinner dishes tonight, listening to the icy rain fall outside combined with the running water of the faucet and the clingy-clang of my washings, I happen to discover the tiniest cellar spider, no bigger than your pinkie nail and virtually transparent out of the corner of my eye.  Hanging delicately from its web just in front of me, I had to take care to not brush or inadvertently blow it away as I worked to clean the kitchen.  Being a former “professional” dishwasher at one of the local, now defunct dining establishments, I have a almost robotic and speedy knack for washing dishes.  This nightly task also serves as a zen-like meditation exercise for me, allowing me to be mindful of where I am, but also providing my mind with the ability to wander and ponder what it wishes.

The discovery of my companion at the sink immediately reminded me of how fragile our life is, and how amazingly easy it would have been for me to not even notice the existence of this tiny visitor, and to perhaps erase it without even the slightest regard.  Meaning no harm, and perhaps not even without the intelligence to be aware of my intentions, this tiny living thing had come down to check out what I was about at 9:30pm, and perhaps also to enjoy some of the water that the sink provides.

As cliche’ as it sounds, we in Western society have grown accustomed to using December as the month and “season” to open our hearts a bit more.  I’ve lately wondered why we can’t do this for all twelve months of the year, and perhaps what the harm would be in doing this.  Though it certainly could damage (or improve?) the commercial industry, the thought of consistently making a conscious effort to not take for granted those around us, to keep our hearts open, and to ask nothing in return, is not just what the holidays are about, but what we as humans should be about.  Consider what this planet would be like for ourselves and our children and those that share it with us if we lived our lives like this always.

Happy holidays to my readers, and next time you discover a spider in your travels, remember what you’ve read here.  Life is fragile, harm no one, and keep your heart open.  A little compassion will come around and back to you some day, and you may find yourself living the life you’d like to see if you can keep these things in mind.

as we approach the holidays, as well as a crossroads in our country’s future… I thought this image important…

Having finally conquered the fun that is moving seedoubleyou.org from one host to another, and I won’t bore you with the nerdiesque (new word!) details, I can once again vent some creative energy…

The last few weeks have brought about some interesting challenges to our lives, all of which we approached with wisdom, courage and compassion.

A good friend of a friend, somewhat a friend of my own, someone who I had only memories of being a kind man with nothing but goodness in his heart, passed on at the young age of thirty-four recently.  Upon hearing word of his death, my feeling was shock and a bit of sadness.  It also reminded me of how impermanent this life is, and how important it is that we do everything we can with each minute we have.  A brilliant high-school teacher and someone who had created many wonderful memories with many friends, he will certainly be missed and holds a place in many hearts.

After work the day I heard the news, I did what I thought to be the best right-action and went to find my best friends who I knew would be grieving the loss of their friend.  Fortunately, I not only found them both and gave them comfort and compassion, but the evening turned into a night where my family and theirs spent time over a wonderful impromptu dinner, a bottle of wine, a six-pack of beer, and celebrating the memories we had of this kind man.  Initial tears and sadness were transformed into good food and happy songs around a summer night campfire.  By reaching out and opening our home to our friends, we had turned this sad event into an evening of happiness and appreciation for the love that friends have for one another.

One of the most important things to any parent is that our children have the best possible education available to them.  I was going to go off on an anti-government/public school rant here, but I’ve since deleted all that as that’s not the point of this post.

What is important is that my wife and I decided to send our daughter off to a private school where we believe she will receive the education she deserves.  With this decision has come the magic pair of scissors that has made that hole in our wallet significantly bigger.

After spending several days pretty bummed out that we were going to have to cut way back and go on what my wife likes to call an ‘economic freeze,’  we both put our heads down and dug in, much like we had in the past, to trim the fat and cut expenses as much as possible.  In addition, my wife decided that after spending the last five years playing mommy and housewife, that it was once again time for her to rejoin the all-American workforce, even for a couple nights a week.  After spending a few days working hard to find any chance at a weekend or weeknight job, coupled with some dedicated and serious Buddhist affirmation and inspiration, Alicia found herself not only employed almost immediately working as a home-care companion for the elderly, but within a week she was turning down opportunities that had arisen from her hard work.

Because of this, I am now blessed with several more opportunities to spend “daddy time” with my children during the course of a given week, and my wife finds herself with a bit of “me-time” that she often longs for.  Our financial woes have not disappeared, though they have diminished by my wife and I showing courage and wisdom to do what is right for the good of our home and we have created a beautiful experience from one that could have brought our family down many more unfortunate paths.

By “making lemonade out of lemons” and remaining mindful enough to create a positive experience from any challenge we face through the use of wisdom, courage, and compassion, Alicia and I have learned to take each moment as an opportunity to grow as individuals, and to help those around us to learn to live their lives the same way.  I often wonder what would happen if the global mindset were similar…

but that’s for another post…