See Double You

The battle rages on between the yin and yang of the self…

The dark side longs for something more, with a restlessness and longing to do more in this life, because the current life-state and situation is insufficient.  Its awakened nature sees the overwhelming suffering all around, and its perception is that it should be able to do more to help, but it also believes it cannot where we are today.  There’s a painful desire to escape from the toxic pollution that is this overwhelming misery and negativity, away from what seems to be the uphill battle to remain positive and happy in life.

The light side chimes in, reminding it that where we’re at in this very moment is the absolute perfect time to do exactly what we want with our life.  Every individual and situation we encounter, lost in a blinded and self-inflicted nightmare of victimization and tribulations, simply needs to be awakened from their ignorance.  The ideal path is the one we’re on now, not the path we envision and perceive to having the greener grass.  The only challenge is how to inspire this awakening to simply paying attention.

Teachers remind us to be the change we want to see in others, to find the joy in each moment, to be here and now, non-attached to dreams and delusions that have no concrete existence in the present.  Simple in concept, but also simply the most difficult in practice, especially since western culture and human nature makes it so easy to lapse into the groove so many find themselves stuck within.  The challenge remains, and it is that to which I dedicate my self.

deep breath

Why are you so afraid?

What is there that is so terrible that makes you cower so?  Are you absolutely sure beyond a doubt that its not all in your head?  Never underestimate the intoxicating power of delusion.

You do realize that chances are its more afraid of you than you are of it.  That’s why it has you so easily convinced.

Is your attachment so great that the best you can do is to spend your life in fear and negativity, hoping that will help to hold on?  Is that why you complain more than compliment?  Why you reduce instead of reinforce?  Do you need that much attention that you believe acting that way will attract that which you seek?  Why must you hide inside the box instead of stepping outside and exploring the world around you?

Can you be completely honest with yourself and admit that living that way all the time makes you feel better?  Really?

Dylan Thomas said “rage, rage against the dying of the light”…

If you need me, I’ll be over here, embracing it face-to-face with both hands.  I’m not afraid and I’ve got too much to live for.  I can’t waste my entire life afraid of the unknown and seeking a reason to be miserable.  I’d prefer to focus on where I’m at right now in the moment and keep pressing forward in a positive light enjoying the adventure of it all.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not careless, nor have I forgotten to remain mindful of my responsibilities, which means yes, I am going to be a bit more conservative when it comes to decisions that impact the bigger picture.  I do however recognize petty worry when I see it and none of it is worth even a consideration.  My apologies ahead of time then if I tune out when I see that coming…

Don’t be afraid, I’m right here and everything’s going to be alright… reach out… here I am… grab it with both hands and pull it close..its yours…

deep breath

Having finally conquered the fun that is moving seedoubleyou.org from one host to another, and I won’t bore you with the nerdiesque (new word!) details, I can once again vent some creative energy…

The last few weeks have brought about some interesting challenges to our lives, all of which we approached with wisdom, courage and compassion.

A good friend of a friend, somewhat a friend of my own, someone who I had only memories of being a kind man with nothing but goodness in his heart, passed on at the young age of thirty-four recently.  Upon hearing word of his death, my feeling was shock and a bit of sadness.  It also reminded me of how impermanent this life is, and how important it is that we do everything we can with each minute we have.  A brilliant high-school teacher and someone who had created many wonderful memories with many friends, he will certainly be missed and holds a place in many hearts.

After work the day I heard the news, I did what I thought to be the best right-action and went to find my best friends who I knew would be grieving the loss of their friend.  Fortunately, I not only found them both and gave them comfort and compassion, but the evening turned into a night where my family and theirs spent time over a wonderful impromptu dinner, a bottle of wine, a six-pack of beer, and celebrating the memories we had of this kind man.  Initial tears and sadness were transformed into good food and happy songs around a summer night campfire.  By reaching out and opening our home to our friends, we had turned this sad event into an evening of happiness and appreciation for the love that friends have for one another.

One of the most important things to any parent is that our children have the best possible education available to them.  I was going to go off on an anti-government/public school rant here, but I’ve since deleted all that as that’s not the point of this post.

What is important is that my wife and I decided to send our daughter off to a private school where we believe she will receive the education she deserves.  With this decision has come the magic pair of scissors that has made that hole in our wallet significantly bigger.

After spending several days pretty bummed out that we were going to have to cut way back and go on what my wife likes to call an ‘economic freeze,’  we both put our heads down and dug in, much like we had in the past, to trim the fat and cut expenses as much as possible.  In addition, my wife decided that after spending the last five years playing mommy and housewife, that it was once again time for her to rejoin the all-American workforce, even for a couple nights a week.  After spending a few days working hard to find any chance at a weekend or weeknight job, coupled with some dedicated and serious Buddhist affirmation and inspiration, Alicia found herself not only employed almost immediately working as a home-care companion for the elderly, but within a week she was turning down opportunities that had arisen from her hard work.

Because of this, I am now blessed with several more opportunities to spend “daddy time” with my children during the course of a given week, and my wife finds herself with a bit of “me-time” that she often longs for.  Our financial woes have not disappeared, though they have diminished by my wife and I showing courage and wisdom to do what is right for the good of our home and we have created a beautiful experience from one that could have brought our family down many more unfortunate paths.

By “making lemonade out of lemons” and remaining mindful enough to create a positive experience from any challenge we face through the use of wisdom, courage, and compassion, Alicia and I have learned to take each moment as an opportunity to grow as individuals, and to help those around us to learn to live their lives the same way.  I often wonder what would happen if the global mindset were similar…

but that’s for another post…